MONOLOGAMIST

Kenny G is 53 today. He says he’s glad to be finally getting to an age where he can appreciate his...

Sat, 04 Jul 2009 15:03:11 -0400

Kenny G is 53 today. He says he’s glad to be finally getting to an age where he can appreciate his own music.

A pair of gay male penguins at a zoo in Germany are raising a chick that was abandoned by its...

Sat, 04 Jul 2009 11:01:31 -0400

A pair of gay male penguins at a zoo in Germany are raising a chick that was abandoned by its parents. Wow, Germany’s got really lax gay animal adoption laws.

A pastor in Kentucky is urging parishioners to bring their guns to church to celebrate the Fourth of...

Sat, 04 Jul 2009 07:00:57 -0400

A pastor in Kentucky is urging parishioners to bring their guns to church to celebrate the Fourth of July and the Second Amendment. Which of course states the right to bear crazy.

Wal-Mart says that opening 150 new stores in the U.S. this year will create 22,000 jobs. For people...

Fri, 03 Jul 2009 19:02:54 -0400

Wal-Mart says that opening 150 new stores in the U.S. this year will create 22,000 jobs. For people to dread going to.

A high school student in Pennsylvania was tasered Thursday when he wouldn’t stop talking on his cell...

Fri, 03 Jul 2009 15:02:32 -0400

A high school student in Pennsylvania was tasered Thursday when he wouldn’t stop talking on his cell phone. Cell phones are allowed in the school but only in the case of an emergency. Unless the emergency is being stunned by a taser.

Coca-Cola says it is aiming a new green tea-flavored soda at health-conscious women in their 20s and...

Fri, 03 Jul 2009 11:01:33 -0400

Coca-Cola says it is aiming a new green tea-flavored soda at health-conscious women in their 20s and 30s. And also at kids who like to take all the leftover food at dinner and mix it in a mysterious cup and dare people to drink it.

A nude photo of Carla Bruni – the first lady of France – sold at an auction on Thursday for over...

Fri, 03 Jul 2009 07:01:10 -0400

A nude photo of Carla Bruni – the first lady of France – sold at an auction on Thursday for over $19,000. Sleeveless photos of our first lady are going for about the same.

It was revealed Thursday that the White House contacted Sonia Sotomayor about serving on the Supreme...

Thu, 02 Jul 2009 21:48:04 -0400

It was revealed Thursday that the White House contacted Sonia Sotomayor about serving on the Supreme Court four days before Justice David Souter announced his retirement. Though it was pretty clear that he was leaving once he started wearing Hawaiian shirts to court.

Liz Cheney restated that there was a link between Iraq and 9/11...

Thu, 02 Jul 2009 17:47:54 -0400

Liz Cheney restated that there was a link between Iraq and 9/11 only days after her father admitted there was none. Which happened around the same time he started saying he supports gay marriage. So I think it’s clear what’s happening. They pulled a Freaky Friday.

President Obama toured the pyramids of Giza on Thursday and said they were “awe-inspiring.”...

Thu, 02 Jul 2009 13:47:59 -0400

President Obama toured the pyramids of Giza on Thursday and said they were “awe-inspiring.” President Bush used to say they’d make one heck of a mini golf course.

King Abdullah of Saudi Arabia presented Obama with a large shiny gold medallion on thick gold chain....

Fri, 26 Jun 2009 19:04:59 -0400

King Abdullah of Saudi Arabia presented Obama with a large shiny gold medallion on thick gold chain. Apparently MTV Yo Raps is in high rotation on Saudi tv.

The federal government accidentally released a highly confidential list of nuclear sites and...

Fri, 26 Jun 2009 15:04:52 -0400

The federal government accidentally released a highly confidential list of nuclear sites and programs around the country. Hey, guys handling top secret materials? Watch out for that Reply All button.

Britney Spears is selling her home in California for $6.5 million - $600,000 less than what she...

Fri, 26 Jun 2009 11:02:27 -0400

Britney Spears is selling her home in California for $6.5 million - $600,000 less than what she paid in December 2007. Sounds like Britney might be going down that bad road again where she…makes bad real estate decisions.

Angelina Joke has overtaken Oprah Winfrey on Forbes’ list of the most powerful celebrity in the...

Fri, 26 Jun 2009 07:00:58 -0400

Angelina Joke has overtaken Oprah Winfrey on Forbes’ list of the most powerful celebrity in the world. Mostly because she has a small army in her house.

Miley Cyrus will team up with Wal-Mart to create a line of budget-friendly, back-to-school clothing....

Thu, 25 Jun 2009 19:06:54 -0400

Miley Cyrus will team up with Wal-Mart to create a line of budget-friendly, back-to-school clothing. For those of you looking for that 7 going on 18 look.

Denise Jonas – the Jonas Brothers’ mom – said in a recent interview that her sons are men, with...

Thu, 25 Jun 2009 15:06:39 -0400

Denise Jonas – the Jonas Brothers’ mom – said in a recent interview that her sons are men, with desires and testosterone. Kind of disturbing if your mom is the only one who seems to know that.

The video game “Tetris” has its 25th birthday this week. To celebrate, it will be lining up some...

Thu, 25 Jun 2009 11:04:36 -0400

The video game “Tetris” has its 25^th birthday this week. To celebrate, it will be lining up some blue bricks with other blue bricks.

A source confirmed that Kate Hudson and Alex Rodriguez are dating. We wish Hudson best of luck in...

Thu, 25 Jun 2009 07:01:00 -0400

A source confirmed that Kate Hudson and Alex Rodriguez are dating. We wish Hudson best of luck in her quest to find an unworthy partner.

To protest Kim Jong Il’s nuclear testing, the U.N. is considering a ban on luxury foods – such as...

Wed, 24 Jun 2009 19:03:56 -0400

To protest Kim Jong Il’s nuclear testing, the U.N. is considering a ban on luxury foods – such as caviar and lobster – being sent to North Korea. Something tells me if you can get your hands on plutonium and uranium, you can probably score some caviar.

To protest Kim Jong Il’s nuclear testing, the U.N. is considering a ban on luxury foods – such as...

Wed, 24 Jun 2009 15:02:49 -0400

To protest Kim Jong Il’s nuclear testing, the U.N. is considering a ban on luxury foods – such as caviar and lobster – being sent to North Korea. Great news for lobsters! You won’t have to got on a 13 hour flight before being boiled alive!