January 2011
1 post
Give a Few Bucks For Cancer →
A quick request for my followers - I’m running the NYC Half Marathon with the American Cancer Society team. If anyone can give a few bucks to go 100% to fighting cancer (and helping me reach my fundraising goal), click above!
Jan 13th
October 2010
1 post
Oct 5th
257 notes
September 2010
1 post
Sep 16th
2 notes
May 2010
1 post
May 10th
July 2009
10 posts
Kenny G is 53 today. He says he’s glad to be finally getting to an age where he can appreciate his own music.
Jul 4th
1 note
A pair of gay male penguins at a zoo in Germany are raising a chick that was abandoned by its parents. Wow, Germany’s got really lax gay animal adoption laws.
Jul 4th
A pastor in Kentucky is urging parishioners to bring their guns to church to celebrate the Fourth of July and the Second Amendment. Which of course states the right to bear crazy.
Jul 4th
Wal-Mart says that opening 150 new stores in the U.S. this year will create 22,000 jobs. For people to dread going to.
Jul 3rd
1 note
A high school student in Pennsylvania was tasered Thursday when he wouldn’t stop talking on his cell phone. Cell phones are allowed in the school but only in the case of an emergency. Unless the emergency is being stunned by a taser.
Jul 3rd
2 notes
Coca-Cola says it is aiming a new green tea-flavored soda at health-conscious women in their 20s and 30s. And also at kids who like to take all the leftover food at dinner and mix it in a mysterious cup and dare people to drink it.
Jul 3rd
3 notes
A nude photo of Carla Bruni – the first lady of France – sold at an auction on Thursday for over $19,000. Sleeveless photos of our first lady are going for about the same.
Jul 3rd
1 note
It was revealed Thursday that the White House contacted Sonia Sotomayor about serving on the Supreme Court four days before Justice David Souter announced his retirement.  Though it was pretty clear that he was leaving once he started wearing Hawaiian shirts to court.
Jul 3rd
Jul 2nd
President Obama toured the pyramids of Giza on Thursday and said they were “awe-inspiring.” President Bush used to say they’d make one heck of a mini golf course.
Jul 2nd
1 note
June 2009
50 posts
King Abdullah of Saudi Arabia presented Obama with a large shiny gold medallion on thick gold chain. Apparently MTV Yo Raps is in high rotation on Saudi tv.
Jun 26th
2 notes
The federal government accidentally released a highly confidential list of nuclear sites and programs around the country. Hey, guys handling top secret materials? Watch out for that Reply All button.
Jun 26th
Britney Spears is selling her home in California for $6.5 million - $600,000  less than what she paid in December 2007. Sounds like Britney might be going down that bad road again where she…makes bad real estate decisions.
Jun 26th
Angelina Joke has overtaken Oprah Winfrey on Forbes’ list of the most powerful celebrity in the world. Mostly because she has a small army in her house.
Jun 26th
Miley Cyrus will team up with Wal-Mart to create a line of budget-friendly, back-to-school clothing. For those of you looking for that 7 going on 18 look.
Jun 25th
Denise Jonas – the Jonas Brothers’ mom – said in a recent interview that her sons are men, with desires and testosterone. Kind of disturbing if your mom is the only one who seems to know that.
Jun 25th
The video game “Tetris” has its 25th birthday this week. To celebrate, it will be lining up some blue bricks with other blue bricks.
Jun 25th
A source confirmed that Kate Hudson and Alex Rodriguez are dating. We wish Hudson best of luck in her quest to find an unworthy partner.
Jun 25th
To protest Kim Jong Il’s nuclear testing, the U.N. is considering a ban on luxury foods – such as caviar and lobster – being sent to North Korea. Something tells me if you can get your hands on plutonium and uranium, you can probably score some caviar.
Jun 24th
To protest Kim Jong Il’s nuclear testing, the U.N. is considering a ban on luxury foods – such as caviar and lobster – being sent to North Korea. Great news for lobsters! You won’t have to got on a 13 hour flight before being boiled alive!
Jun 24th
A DVD-sniffing dog named Paddy uncovered 35,000 pirated discs in Malaysia on Wednesday.  You know what seems more threatening than DVD piracy? Actual piracy.
Jun 24th
A group of high school students in Pennsylvania face criminal charges for camping out in their school’s courtyard as part of a senior prank. The charge they’re up on is “having a really lame senior prank.”
Jun 24th
1 note
Archeologists in Serbia found a one million year old mammoth skeleton finely preserved. Note that “finely preserved” is archaeology speak for “plastic surgery.”
Jun 24th
Osama bin Laden released a new audiotape yesterday, saying that President Obama “has planted new seeds of hatred.” Guess bin Laden doesn’t know that Hillary’s totally over it.
Jun 23rd
1 note
The FDA has approved Palladia - the first cancer drug designed specifically for dogs. It’s basically just like the human version but smells like bacon.
Jun 22nd
King Abdullah was surprised to hear President Obama use the word “Shoukran” which is Arabic for “thank you.” The last President Abdullah talked to had trouble communicating with him in English.
Jun 22nd
6 notes
President Obama used the Arabic word “Shoukran” instead of “Thank you” in response to a compliment from King Abdullah.  The compliment was “you are very smart for a president.”
Jun 21st
10,000 bees crowded on the wing of a plane at a Massachussetts airport. This after they couldn’t get a window seat.
Jun 21st
Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt have quit NBC’s show “I’m a Celebrity…Get Me Out Of Here.” Only to join “I’m Barely a Celebrity, I think I’ll Take What I Can Get.”
Jun 21st
Happy birthday to Anderson Cooper who turned 42 today. Now he’s almost as old as his hair.
Jun 21st
2 notes
Last week Spain’s Queen Sofia flew to London on budget airline Ryanair for about $30. Are you kidding me? I spent that much on a bottled water last time I was at the airport.
Jun 21st
1 note
Last week Spain’s Queen Sofia flew to London on budget airline Ryanair, which doesn’t even have reserved seats. The Queen says the worst part was trying to convince the backpacker next to her that Spain still has a queen.
Jun 21st
The U.S. military is posting updates about the war in Afghanistan on Twitter and Facebook. Just today I found out that the war in Afghanistan is no longer in a relationship.
Jun 20th
4 notes
NASA has announced it will be using Twitter to invite the media to cover space shuttle launches. A sample Tweet would go like this: “There will be a space shuttle launch just as soon as we stop spending all our time on Twitter and have time to plan one.”
Jun 20th
Officials in Hong Kong confiscated 18,000 cases of Red Bull after traces of cocaine were found in several cans. They figured if they put the traces from 18,000 cans together they might have enough to actually get high.
Jun 20th
A co-star says that Brad Pitt told him when he doesn’t have time to shower, he uses baby wipes to freshen up.  Also, Angelina is more likely to mistake him for a baby and pay attention to him.
Jun 20th
Ayman al-Zawahri – Al Qaeda’s second-in-command – is urging Egyptians to reject President Obama’s visit to Cairo this week. Upon hearing Al Qaeda was trying to get people not to like the President, Republicans said “yeah, good luck with that.”
Jun 20th
3 notes
Good luck to President Obama, who just left for his five-day trip to Egypt and Saudi Arabia.  Bring us back a T shirt or some world peace or something.
Jun 19th
President Obama will travel to the middle east this week to give a speech in Cairo in hopes of improving US-Arab relations. Also, Michelle requested a date night there.
Jun 19th
Officials in Hong Kong say they have found traces of cocaine in the energy drink Red Bull. This after they finally invited Lindsay Lohan to join their team.
Jun 19th
Happy Birthday today to The Strokes drummer Fabrizio Moretti, actor Justin Long, and Cypress Hill rapper B-Real! Also, congratulations B-Real, you’re Drew Barrymore’s next boyfriend.
Jun 19th
Angels & Kings, a New York City bar owned by Pete Wentz, has been temporarily shut down for allegedly serving alcohol to minors. But you know, boys tend to look a lot older with eyeliner.
Jun 19th
2 notes
Four months after a plane landed in the Hudson, luggage has been returned to passengers. Which is a shame. Surviving a plane crash only to die from the smell of your suitcase.
Jun 19th
A woman in Arizona was arrested for coaching her 12- and 14-year-old sons how to rob a bank.  Luckily she also taught them how to break someone out of jail.
Jun 18th
Scientists now discourage television watching before the age of 2 – a time when critical language development occurs. Which is bad news for those of us with fan bases 16-18 months old.
Jun 18th
Six major health care organizations submitted a proposal Monday to President Obama detailing how they could save $2 trillion over 10 years. And ALL of them mentioned cutting doctor’s office lollipops.
Jun 18th